


Unwell

by GuineapigQueen



Series: 300 Followers Requests [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Depression, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Recovery, chubby creek, creek look after each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2020-11-16 14:43:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20845745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: "You are not. You are unwell, you won't be forever and eventually, we will learn to -hnn- manage this together. You'll be where I am, and then we will both be ready" Tweek assures him, finishing his speech with an affectionate kiss to Craig's forehead.





	Unwell

**Author's Note:**

> I was requested on tumblr: Soft chubby Creek? Just them cuddling and having a lazy day  
It's a bit angsty but bare with me :) Hope you like it!

The house is quiet when Tweek is gone. It’s not sad, but it’s quiet. On a bad day it’s lonely and on a good day it’s a kingdom. Normally it’s okay, but the bad days have been stacking up lately. Tweek is the one on track, he has a full time job and he's the reason their bills are paid. Craig tries his best to help out at home but he can't always manage. He feels useless, not able to function at work and barely able to keep things orderly at home. Tweek is so patient. 

Craig looked after Tweek more in their teens. Tweek had a stint in the hospital, he was diagnosed with a psychiatric illness and started on antipsychotics. His life had gone from chaotic to almost normal. Obviously it didn't happen overnight, Tweek struggled to find what worked for him and there was lots of pain and hard work along the way. But Tweek came good. He came out the other side and is now a functioning adult. He has medications with side effects that he'll be on for life and he sometimes has relapses but for the most part he has a handle on his own mental health. Craig isn't so strong. 

Tweek is inspiring, Craig's heard so many horror stories about people with psychotic illness. In the sense that they're zombie-fied on drugs or unable to hold jobs and lead normal lives. Not Tweek, this is not his story. Tweek has a good job in IT and he does just fine. 

Craig did not think mental illness would take over his life in the way it did. He thought that was a Tweek thing, not a him problem. It was dumb, and he hadn't really realized he was depressed until he was right in it. Not getting out of bed, dishes piling up, not going to work… Eventually he was fired. 

Instead of getting another job, like he still feels he should have done, Tweek talked him into getting help instead. Craig doesn't know much about any mental illness that isn't Tweek's. He's always been so focused on getting Tweek well and managing Tweek's crises that he hasn't really done much self reflection on his own emotions. 

Craig's diagnosis changed a few times, first it was depression but the medication they put him on made him go haywire. It lead them to eventually settling on bipolar 2. Craig is still trying to come to terms with the diagnosis. He's on a new medication and while it hasn't made him go haywire, he's still pretty depressed. His doctor tells him this is normal and that he needs to give the medication a bit longer to start working. If the depression doesn't clear in a few weeks they'll start again. Craig hates that this is such a guessing game, he feels like he's tried so many different drugs and none have really worked. He has to admit this is the best one so far, even if it has made him put on weight.

He hates that. It just makes him feel even more useless. He's at home all day, barely doing anything at all on bad days and now he's getting fat. He can't see any reason Tweek would find him appealing, he's not bringing anything to the relationship. Just being a dead weight dragging at Tweeks heels. He also feels like he's set them back. More than anything Craig wants to start a family with Tweek, but he knows that they can't. They're not ready yet, there's still too many expenses and now there's all these issues with Craig's mental health. Craig doesn't think he can be trusted with a kid, not unless he finds some way out of this hole and a way to get better. 

They've talked about the kid stuff, it's on the cards but on the backburner. They both want to have a baby at some point, but it's not a cheap business. First there's the surrogate, they need to pay them for their services as well as the medical bills. Then there is the things the baby will need as well as regular things like, diapers, food, wipes etc. Right now they're paying for Craig's medical expenses as well as their mortgage. Without two incomes kids are not happening. Craig hates that he's the reason. 

\--

Craig hasn't really done much when Tweek gets home. He hasn't made any dinner or anything and he feels guilty. Yet all he can do is sit on the couch, stare at the wall and try not to cry. It's an awful way to exist but he's doing his best to get better. One appointment, day, pill at a time. 

Tweek isn't mad, he's ever patient. Instead he puts down his stuff and heads straight over to where Craig is slumped on the couch.

"Another bad day, huh?" He asks Craig, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Yeah" Craig admits, no fight in him.

"Hey, that's okay. Recovery is a  _ -nghh-  _ process, man. It takes time and it doesn't go in a straight line" Tweek soothes, stroking Craig's forehead. 

"I hate this" Craig admits forlornly. Tweek sighs and wraps an arm comfortingly around his partner.

"I know you do" Tweek says "But I know you can get through it.  _ We  _ can, I love you and I'l  _ -ah- _ l do whatever you need" he promises.

"I love you,  _ so  _ much. I just don't get why you love me?" Craig replies, his voice cracking with emotion. 

"Craig I… why wouldn't I love you?" Tweek says. It breaks Craig's heart how sincere he sounds and how his eyes are so huge and heavy with feeling. 

"Because I've changed. I'm not the same person you married. I'm useless, I'm always sad and I'm fat" Craig complains sadly. 

"I've changed over time too, just because you're  _ -nnn-  _ going through a rough patch and aren't well doesn't mean I stop loving you. We're married and to me that means forever" Tweek encourages, pulling Craig in a little closer.

"I want better for us, for you" Craig says. 

"I'm not sure what you mean, my love?" Tweek replies with a small frown. 

"I want to be normal, so we can have a family and love our baby and just… I want to be better. I want to be parent material" Craig does his best to gather his thoughts and explain. 

"You are parent material" Tweek insists, looking him in the eye dead serious "You'll be a great dad just not right this  _ -gah-  _ second. We need more time to prepare and build up our life together."

"I don't… I don't think I can be a parent Tweek. I'm broken" Craig admits. That's what he's worried about really, deep down. That his illness will mean he can't do this. That his life will always be like this and he and Tweek will never have that family they want so badly. 

"You are not. You are  _ unwell _ , you won't be forever and eventually, we will learn to  _ -hnn-  _ manage this together. You'll be where I am, and then we will both be ready" Tweek assures him, finishing his speech with an affectionate kiss to Craig's forehead. 

"Maybe. I guess I'm just tired Tweek" Craig sighs "I'm so worn down by all this guessing and changing of medication."

"I know. But you're showing promise on this one babe. I know you can't see it but you're showering, you're getting up every day and you're eating regular meals" Tweek explains with a smile on his face "and you're not having the nasty side effects like the other ones. I think once the doctor finds the right dose you'll be back on  _ -nghh-  _ track."

"I hadn't thought of it that way" Craig realises "I guess, while I don't feel very good I am doing slightly better than before."

"You are, I'm so proud of you" Tweek beams before pulling Craig into a hug.

"All I did was do some basic human tasks" Craig replies self deprecatingly "I don't deserve a medal."

"Craig, listen to me" Tweek says, he fixes Craig with an intense, serious stare "I've been exactly where you are and let me tell you, it's  _ -gah-  _ absolutely an achievement that you get up and do those tasks. Don't downplay your progress in your recovery. I am very, very proud of you."

Craig can feel his cheeks heat up, he doesn't know how to accept such high praise. So instead he ducks his head and shyly avoids Tweek's gaze. 

"Hey, babe" Tweek says, placing a hand under Craig's chin and tilting it up so they are eye to eye "I love you so much. We're gonna get through this." 

"I think I believe you" Craig replies sincerely. 

"Good" Tweek says, giving Craig's cheek one more kiss "now I suggest take out for dinner? Whatever you want? Let's get  _ -nnn-  _ take out, take a shower together, rent a movie and  _ -ah-  _ snuggle in bed yeah?"

"That sounds amazing" Craig smiles at his husband, in awe of just how perfect he is. How well he's handling such a shitty situation. Craig couldn't love him more. 

"Self care is so important my love" Tweek says, beaming back at Craig. 

\--

Craig is still at home but he's beginning to feel a bit better about the whole thing. Despite how heavy the storm of the depression felt its not permanent. Craig felt like it was, like he'd be under a dark cloud forever but it too is beginning to pass. He's not recovered, definitely not cured but he's beginning to feel lighter and that's a feeling he hadn't felt in such a long time. 

He's at home for now but soon he thinks he'll be strong enough to go out and find a job. He's so grateful for Tweek's support. He wouldn't have been able to take this time to recover if he hadn't had Tweek to pick up the slack for both of them. 

When they do finally have that baby they've been wanting Craig thinks they'll make a great team as parents. 

Craig is now trying to fill his time more actively. He's running errands now, cleaning the house, cooking dinner. In his spare time he does yoga at the community centre and has started drawing. Just randomly, he's not some talented artist but he likes the process. He has fun and that's what should count, right? 

He hasn't been able to stop the weight gain but he thinks it's beginning to plateau. As his mood lifts he's minding it less anyway. People often gain weight with age, he and Tweek were never going to be twenty forever. They're both nearly thirty, so a dad bod was on the cards at least. Tweek himself is chubby anyway. Tweek's meds have a weight gain side effect too. Much worse than the one Craig is on, Tweek just fights to stay healthy and maintain his weight as it is. Tweek has accepted that he's never going to be skinny, it's a trade off and Tweek chooses his sanity and happiness. Craig wouldn't have him any other way, so he assumes it would go both ways. Tweek would prefer a chubbier Craig to a miserable one. 

Craig is cooking their dinner when Tweek arrives home. It's just a simple pasta and veggies but it's better than nothing. Tweek is rustling around, Craig wonders what on earth he could be doing since he usually just comes straight to greet Craig. 

"Babe?" Craig calls.

"Hey" Tweek replies "don't come out here yet I have a  _ -gah-  _ surprise for you!"

"A surprise?" Craig can't help but be mildly concerned. 

"Yeah, trust me you'll  _ -nnn-  _ love it."

More rustling, Tweek appears to be bringing something in from the car. Craig is nice enough not to peek though, knowing Tweek wants to surprise him. 

"Ok, come out!" Tweek calls. Craig puts the stove on simmer and does as he's told. 

Tweek is standing in the living room with a small animal carrier in his arms. 

"What…" Craig trails off, unsure what potential animal Tweek has just brought home.

"Look in" Tweek grins at him.

Craig opens the metal gate door slowly as to not scare whatever's in there. He can see it's small… there's clearly two in there at least… 

_ Oh _

Guinea pigs. Craig's face splits into a wide smile.

"Babe" he says, voice clouded with emotion "I haven't had a guinea pig since I was seventeen."

"I know" Tweek replies "I know you love them. Look, I know you want a  _ -nghh- _ kid Craig and we  _ will  _ have one, just later. So for now, I got you the next best thing."

"You really did" Craig says, "have you got them a real cage though?"

"Yes, don't worry" Tweek assures him "I got the  _ -hnn- _ biggest one in the store. We just have to set it up."

"I love you so much" Craig says to Tweek. 

"I love you too, and I love our new  _ -ah-  _ fur children" Tweek replies with a big smile. 

Craig thinks he can handle not being a dad yet. He can be a fur dad for now. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
